I used to be the type that questioned why I had to make my bed every morning “I’m just going to mess it up again tonight!” and like most of my other learned habits, something had to come around to teach me the sometimes painful lesson of why it was important for me to make the bed.
During break ups, we tend to either feel like a blob of nothingness or someone who has to be running around constantly a million miles a minute to distract ourselves from the icky thoughts and feelings. This post is geared towards both tendencies and the point I’d like to make is that it is so important to make our outside world feel OK and sane because our inside world is not feeling too hot.
Having a messy and chaotic house is very likely to make you feel messy and chaotic. I’m not saying by any means that you need to have a sparkling clean house every day, but we’ve all seen those movies where friends have to bust into their newly broken up with friends’ house and throw away the old pizza boxes and ice cream pints that are scattered all over the house. Let’s not do that.
At least in my experience, when I’m going through a break up my self-esteem usually goes to shit and I find myself questioning not only if I’m ever going to be good enough in a relationship but also if I’m good enough at my job, with my friends, etc. For whatever reason, having a routine I stick to helps me SO much with my self-esteem especially when I’m in crisis mode. Starting my day off making my bed makes me feel like I’ve already done something awesome for myself and I’m still in my pajamas. Then when you had to that making a healthy breakfast, putting make up on, and getting dressed I’m already feeling significantly better.
During break ups we tend to let ourselves go in some way, we do pajamas all day, go days without washing our hair or brushing it, we rely solely on take out, and other anti-self care measures. When we’re in relationships we cook for the person, we get dressed up, make sure legs are shaved, and other grooming measures and then when we go through a break up we stop. Why is that? Shouldn’t we be taking even better care of ourselves during a break up? That’s when we really need it. Not saying you need to be perfectly groomed and glammed up every day, but there is something about feeling good about our outsides, our insides feel better.